Chances are, if you clicked on this post, you are or have been in this boat, you're looking for a good laugh or both. Either way, here you go...
Sex changes after you have kids. No one wants to talk about it, but it does. It changes even more when you know you are done having kids. It changes even more than that when the thought of becoming pregnant again terrifies you and you are done jamming yourself with birth control pills, patches, shots, and implants all in the name of having carefree sex.
When you reach that point in your relationship, typically you have a conversation with your partner and come to an agreement that he goes in for the snip. Unfortunately, for some of us, it's not that simple.
Some of us wind up with partners that are "too scared", feel like their manhood is being taken, or whatever their excuse may be, but they will complain on the regular about how sex isn't the same or how it isn't as often as they'd like, but are completely unwilling to do anything about it. This post is for YOU.
Get a vasectomy.
For the love of God, just do it.
Maybe you've been there, maybe you haven't, but let me tell you, being with someone that refuses to have a vasectomy when you are 400,765,965% sure you're done having children is no easy feat.
In my humble opinion, the best part is when they complain about sex not being the same or lack thereof, when they have complete control over this. Truth be told, the thought of getting pregnant again scares the ever loving shit out of me, so subconsciously I go into "whatever I have to do to make sure that never happens again" mode.
You've had the privilege of "blowing loads", as you call it (anyone else's husband this classy? I know, I've got a keeper 🤣), for a whopping 12 years. That's 12 whole years of carefree (for the most part) sex.
Throughout that 12 years, I was stuffing my body with birth control pills, shots, and patches, all to make sure that you could have the sexual satisfaction that you so desired (I know, I know. I did too, but this is about you. I did my part). I'm 35. I'm done. No more pills. This is your turn to take the reigns of responsibility where our family planning is concerned.
Amidst those 12 years of sexual bliss, I've managed to nourish, house, and grow 2 of our children in this body.
Aside from ridiculously uncomfortable Pap Smears and exams that occur once a month during pregnancy, I have suffered from sciatica, plantar fasciitis, and a plethora of other ailments that come along with pregnancy.
I've endured contractions. I've endured needles being stuck in me over and over again while being induced. I've endured epidurals. My vagina stretched the size of an entire bagel to squeeze out 2 babies that YOU created with me. I'm left with stretch marks, which I like to refer to as my tiger stripes, and our last pregnancy left a sweet extra 12 pounds on me that legiterally WILL. NOT. GO. AWAY.
I still wouldn't complain about ANY of it... until you start complaining about a vasectomy, that is.
So, forgive me when I cannot even take you seriously when your fear of a 15 minute outpatient procedure makes me literally LOL. Forgive me when I can't understand your hesitation to take accountability for your own role in our sex life to make it thebomb(dot)com again. Honestly, it has me wondering how men are regarded by many as a superior species or pillars of strength because, in all reality, it's rather weak of you.
Your Human Life Growing, Superhuman Child Birthing, Warrior Badass Wife
Feel free to share your stories and opinions in the comments below!
Love our blog? Subscribe to our blog HERE to receive occasional emails about our new blog posts!
Full disclosure: We blog about an array of topics from funny life stories and our favorite products to small business advice and tutorials. We may receive a small commission from links in some of our posts to keep this blog running, however, we do not represent any companies or products that we do not absolutely love and stand by 110% because that's not how we roll. The opinions expressed are our own. Our blog is for informational purposes only and any information found on this site is not substitute for professional advice.
Whether you are a stay at home mom or a work at home mom, I'm sure you've already heard a time or 20 how lucky you are to be able to stay at home all day and that you must basically do like, nothing, right? Like, you couldn't possibly do as much as all those mom's that have to go to work everyday.
I. Don't. Think. So.
You see, I've been both, and let me tell you, being the working mom was easier. Maybe it wasn't as rewarding, necessarily, but it was easier. I could go to work and focus on the task at hand while someone else cared for my child. That's not a knock to the working mom, either. It's honestly just what my experience was.
Now, though it may be more difficult, I wouldn't trade being a work at home mom for anything, but imagine my surprise when I received these text messages from my significant other with quite the colorful choice of words (hehe)!
Good ole auto correct corrected my "nothing" to boring, so I attempted to fix it just for you (haha), but you get the drift. Before you get too mad at my dude - he was uber stressed at that particular moment, and none of us are perfect, so let's forgive him and move on.
But just to clear things up for everyone that loves to be up in my business: I am how everyone's laundry gets done, I am how people have towels to dry off with when they get out of the shower,
I'm the one who wipes people's pee off the toilet seat, I'm the one who picks up various articles of clothing on a daily basis and gets them to the laundry room, I am the one who puts food on the table (and not your run of the mill mac n' cheese or frozen pizza - I make healthy shit for my family), like my, "Make you poop Chili", Veggie Pot Pie (like chicken, but better, and vegan friendly), and my Baked Spaghetti (where I hide garlic, peppers, and other healthy stuff that the kids don't know about) which you can find in my recipes section sometime next week.
I am the one who drops off and picks up from school, I am the one who makes sure there are groceries in the house,
I am the one who makes sure kids have gifts for birthday parties and that they get there, I am almost always the one who gets the children to their sporting activities, I clean up the house at least 3 times a day ( after the toddler destroys it in the morning, after he destroys it in the afternoon, and one final time before I go to bed.)
Then, some where in between all that, I have to find time to run my business so I can pay a car payment, pay for cell phones, put lunch money in bank accounts, pay for insurance, Netflix, Internet, vehicle repairs ($2,500 was my most recent) & maintenance, clothing (even thought I shop mostly second hand or support other small shop's) and provide somewhat of a tiny cushion in the bank in case one of us is ever out of work or falls ill. Below is an example of a typical "I do nothing" type of day (haha!).
I run an Instagram account, Facebook business account & group, Pinterest account, Tumblr account, & Twitter account for my Etsy shop and my company website, LivAndCo.com , where I design and manufacture adorable clothing and accessories for your babies and children and occasionally come up with some fab adult tee's as well.
I would challenge anyone that has a problem to walk a day in my shoes. You'll die after my morning workout, I promise ;) (visit my Facebook page Live Better With Liv . It's my hobby page.), but me, that's just my warm up for getting prepared to rockstar through my day.
While my significant other (who does work his tail off to help support our brood) gets to come home as his break on a weekly basis, I do not have that luxury. Weekends mean virtually nothing to me. I'm still rocking the mom boss gig 24/7/365, and if I'm lucky, I may get a tiny vacation or 2 a year (but even then I bring my work with me because I can't afford to take off and I also cannot afford the mental stress of getting backed up on orders).
I have ZERO margin for error. When an emergency comes up, it throws everything off whack, because I literally chew up every moment of my day MOVING and getting stuff done.
So to all the mom bosses - those that are stay at home mom's, work at home mom's, or mom's that hold down that 9-5 and still come home to bathe the kids and put dinner on the table, but get told you must not do much - this one is for you!
I have to go now because I really don't even have enough time to write this post (haha). No really, I have to go give my son a bath...
This year Father's Day is on June 18th! Father's Day is such a great time to celebrate the awesome dads in your life! We have tons of great Father's Day outfits for baby + toddler in the shop. Here are a few of our favorites:
Another fun way to celebrate Father's Day (besides dressing baby in an awesome Father's Day outfit) is to make a craft for dad! We've found 6 awesome + easy crafts to do with your kids! Dad is going to LOVE this!
Nuts about You: http://www.happinessishomemade.net/nuts-about-you-photo-frame-gift-idea/
Best Dad By Par: http://www.craftymorning.com/handprint-golfer-fathers-day-card-for-kids-to-make/
Hardest Working Dad: http://www.craftymorning.com/dollar-bill-t-shirt-fathers-day-card/
You Rock Dad Craft: http://katarinaspaperie.com/2016/05/free-printable-rock-dad-coloring-page-diy-rock-frame/
Love You To Pieces: http://www.craftymorning.com/love-pieces-fathers-day-frame-gift/
Daddy’s Grilling Partner: http://gluedtomycraftsblog.com/2016/05/daddys-grilling-partner-keepsake-wfree-printable.html
We hope your Father's Day is perfect! www.livandco.com
Well, it's official. I was 'that Mom'. I was the Mom that I basically always complained about, but I was that Mom with good reason, if that makes any difference. I was that Mom with the 4,5,6, & 7 month old baby that didn't sleep through the night. I was a THIRD time Mom, this was not my first rodeo!
Why was this happening to me? That's what I constantly asked myself. Deep down I knew why. I'm running a very successful business, caring for an infant, tending to my 2 older children & their life happenstances, with 2 step-kids on the weekends, & trying to have some sort of a relationship with my SO. My other children needed their sleep & so did my significant other..... But where was mine?!
Though our house is of decent size, the walls are thin, and well, baby has a set of lungs. He roomed with us for the first few months of life and it was TRYING. First he roomed with us because he had a terrible reflux issue from the day he was born after swallowing some amniotic fluid. We were assured that would go away within a few days of being home. It did. Then he was rooming with us because we needed to sleep train him to prepare him to sharing a room with another sibling. All the excuses- we always had one. LOL. We had great intentions, however, we went about it ALL WRONG.
You see, each time he'd move in the night, I jumped up (and on occasion his Dad did too) & leapt out of bed to fetch his pacifier in fear that he'd wake himself up & the rest of the house in the process. We pacified him. Guilty as charged. We tried EVERYTHING under the sun except the Cry It Out method (which is so unlike me).
We were even giving him a bottle in the middle of the night which is actually one of the most ridiculous things you can do at these ages. There really is not a single reason for a baby to not sleep through the night at this age except for the parent holding the child back.
You see, as parent's - we are supposed to train our children. We are supposed to guide them. That starts AT BIRTH & never stops. It is not always going to be pretty. I actually realized we were doing him an injustice. It IS NOT mean to let him cry. The injustice was depriving him of his much deserved & needed sleep. THAT is what is wrong.
Parenting is not for the weak. It is not easy to listen to your baby cry, but when you know that nothing is wrong with them - it makes it a bit easier. You have to develop a thick skin because what is always right for your child isn't always going to be easy for you to do. So many people want an easy way out. Sure there may be easier methods in terms of you not having to hear your baby cry. I won't argue that. I will argue that they take longer to implement & CIO is not only a proven method, but is highly effective & effective much sooner. I hear parent's complaining that they 'just can't do it', they just can't listen to their baby cry. NEWSFLASH: It doesn't matter what you want. It isn't about you. What matters is what is best for your child. Getting your child used to crying things out once in a while isn't only a good thing, but it's necessary. We shouldn't get our children used to being at their beckon call. Besides, the crying strengthens their lungs. Bottom line? Let's not start our children out in life cushioning everything for them when it is not hurting them one iota.
I was also informed that by the lack of sleep that had built up, he was over-stimulated which will cause babies to sleep less and less over time.
I went on a trip to Alaska with my daughter when he was 7 months old. I thought this was surely a great time for my significant other to sleep train the baby and get him on a good schedule. It was just supposed to be him, the baby, & my 15 year old. It seemed like the perfect time.
After 4 days I came home & that night my guy says to me, "O.K., here's his schedule: He'll be up at 1 for a bottle & again at 4. That's just his personality. You're never going to get 8 hours out of him." I'm like, "Say whaaaattttt?"! I'm jetlagged as all get-out & totally screwed up from the time change to the point of feeling physically ill. Seriously, I thought I had the flu. I cried, I was so mad. Of course he was waking up at 4 a.m.! He was SOAKED from his 1 a.m. bottle! Duh! It was at this point I'd finally had it.
I told my SO, "I'm starting the Cry It Out method tonight so be ready." Around 9 p.m. I put him in his crib & had our other child sacrifice the bedroom that evening. Around 12:15 a.m.- he woke! After about 15 minutes of letting him cry I started feeling the tension from my SO, like he was mad at me over it or it was somehow my fault - which aside from our other kids, was a big reason I hadn't done this sooner. I attributed this to his sudden severe lack of patience that I did not witness with our other children. I did not give a crap at this point- I was doing this. I told him to go sleep in his truck as he was working my last nerve. He did & I went on to work my maternal magic!
I had every fear that a first time Mom usually has. A big thanks to our new day society that has instilled in us to be fearful of EVERYTHING. I worried about him getting his foot caught in a crib slat (since we should all fear bumpers now, even though I was raised with them and my older 2 as well), planting his face in his mattress & somehow suffocating himself (no blankets though, because you should be scared of those too), the whole 9 yards, but I knew that night was going to be sleepless for me & probably the next night too, but it was for the greater good & it would pass soon.
I went to check on him several times. I checked on him when he was crying to make sure he was o.k., but I NEVER took him out of his crib. You can't. You have to be firm (a quality you should get used to or develop quickly because you are going to have to implement it later in life in far bigger ways). After about a 1/2 hour of crying I did go pat his back. I went back in my room to lay down & he continued to cry. Around 2 a.m. I noticed he hadn't cried for a few minutes so I went to check on him again. He was out like a light. Guess what? He slept until 10 a.m. and the only reason I woke him was because I HAD to leave.
Turns out, it wasn't 'just his personality'. He needed to be trained. The next night he cried for about 30 minutes & went to sleep and slept until 8 a.m. It is currently 3 weeks later, he's teething & still sleeps until between 6:30-8 a.m.
BEST THING I EVER DID.
My other 2 kids had been so easy because when I was raising them as babies I didn't have so many other people in the house to worry about. I sacrificed myself and my sleep for 8 months when I should have done this around 2 1/2-3 months of age & saved myself so I could've been a better & more energetic person for the rest of my family. It is a win-win situation for everyone- YOU JUST HAVE TO GET THROUGH IT.
Babies aren't born knowing what to do. Just like kids shouldn't be making choices & decisions. That's why we are made their parent's- to guide them. To train them, to make decisions for them so they can see what good decisions are. They learn by what we do.
I am not a Doctor & will never claim to be. I am a Mother of 3 children & have been a Mother for a long time. I am not a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist, however I do study psychology & behaviors & have one of the best tools you can have: EXPERIENCE . My posts should be taken as advice only, based on my own experiences.
I hope you made it all the way through this article & that it HELPS you. If I've inspired you to give Cry It Out a go- let me know how it works out in the comments below :)
Content & photo's copyright ©Liv & Co.™ . Baby bodysuit courtesy of Liv & Co. ™ . Get yours HERE
Proud Mom of 3 beautiful children. Creator, designer, & owner of Liv & Co.
Join our email list for the latest blog post updates, Liv & Co. + Blue November Sales and more. Subscribe below. (We won't spam you.)
Advertise your small business here! Just $10 for 2 weeks! Click HERE to checkout!
Are you a Midwest maker? If you own a small business in Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Ohio, Nebraska, North Dakota, South Dakota or Wisconsin, join us over at Made In The Midwest on Facebook.